FAWM. Day 1.

Hm

Haven't written a note today. I'm not really feeling inspired.

Could be because today I had retinal laser surgery. It is the most intense thing that has happened to me in recent memory - the insistent blur of the dilation, the blinding laser and bizarre pain. I just want to keep myself in a dark, locked room.

But I only get a few minutes before i have to leave and meet some friends for dinner this evening. Then I will come home and set up all my guitars and basses in stands, like a little army, and see if I can be inspired to pluck at one of them. I'm going to turn on my computer, just to make sure I know how to do it.

People have posted songs - good ones - already.

Hm.

j.

FAWM jitters.

Oo. I'm feeling them.

February Album Writing Month starts tomorrow, and I can't remember anything I've ever wanted to write in my whole life. My pen is still. *sigh*

I got an idea from the board, to take pics of all the new gear (and there is a lot of it) and post them. Hm. I'll take care of that tonight, maybe it will stop my stomach from lurching. Ack.

Yesterday I had coffee with a musician I've spent the last decade idolizing. She is a wonderful person and it was so comforting to hear her words of wisdom about the business and about the hard reality of making records. I feel that hope fluttering again, the hope that the life I want is possible. This hope has ground me down into the concrete more than a few times, but it doesn't ever seem to die....

Tonight I meet up with the writers group to critique Cat's piece. I've never done this before, and I'm a bit nervous about that as well. Criticism is such a delicate thing.

survivin' it all,

j.

Today I Had A List.

There was a list of six things to do today and I did them. All.

I have to do that sometimes, to prove to myself that I'm not a total ground sloth, make up a list and do everything on it, TODAY, even at great inconvenience or cost. It's usually when I'm feeling really ineffective and almost unable to get things done. Today, I did stuff.

One of my co-workers bought me a two inch high cake from Chinatown. I just like to squeeze it gently. It's like a tiny bouncy mattress. I will eat it at some point tonight. I love Chinese desserts, they're never too sweet. The tea is awesome. Creamy.

I'm not rejecting bad food so vigorously as I should be lately. Although, I did book my family's hotel room for my brother's wedding in Michigan in June. The prospect of fitting into a particular dress is a good motivator.

Tomorrow I am having lunch with two special friends. I've been cooped up too long inside the house, need to do a little breaking out.

jx

Just a Quick Note.

Just wanted to say hello before I leave work for the evening.

It's depressing, finding out what's really going on in the world....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKr_soG4DUA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjALf12PAWc


sigh,
jules

Spontaneous Outbreak of Happiness.

I'm here at work. Working, yes, but also listening to music.

I listened to a bunch of ABBA this morning, say what you want about their cheesiness. ABBA makes me so, so happy. Giddily happy. Deliriously happy.

Now I'm listening to 100m Backstroke, by Josh Rouse. The first chord comes in and I get all choked up. I had my headphones on, singing so loudly my co-worker had to tell me to shut up.

I suddenly have nothing but love for the world, and I know everything's going to be all right.

Will February get here, already?!?

j.

Hi there.

Oo. Long time.

There's a lot going on.

Finally finishing up the album. I have good versions of all the songs, just need to get the last two mixed, and then the whole thing mastered. And then there's the artwork.

But those are just details. The finish line is just over...there.

I'm drowning in bizarre technology, mailing lists, online stores, trying to figure out how to work it all. Or, at least, make it look good.

February is Album Writing Month (http://www.fawm.org). I'm looking forward to it. Bought a new guitar, new amp, new POD. Been listening to Cat Power's record, You Are Free. Lo-Fi goodness.

The novel is beginning to itch, I don't mind saying. I've come up with a couple of solutions to a few plot holes, thought of a few ways to darken and deepen the tone significantly. Maybe March.

Anyhow, I will be blogging daily during FAWM, so there's more nonsense rambling on the way.

Holiday Blahs.

Yes, they've started to settle in. *sigh*

So, there's no chance of finishing the music before the end of the year. The timetables are pushed to some undefined point in January. Or beyond. *sigh*

Everything takes three times longer than I think it should. I always forget that.

So.

I'm going guitar shopping on Wednesday, don't know if I'll buy anything but I've certainly been wanting a bigger acoustic for a while.

BBC7 has some fabulous holiday programming going on. I'm just going to settle in for a quiet one, I think.

jules

Woah.

Has it been twelve days already?

I've been busy. Had to sleep for a couple of days after finishing, and since then I've had my head squarely focused on all things music. Just went up to Binghamton to get some recording done with a friend. We did a couple of things, but did not finish. I will be mid-process for quite a few more weeks.

*sigh*

Pulled out "Self-Editing for Fiction Writers" and started to read, but my heart isn't in it. I need to get some music done.

I've been revamping my website, getting help from a friend, but WHY DO THINGS RENDER DIFFERENTLY IN DIFFERENT BROWSERS! GNN!!!

I have my finger in ten different pies right now. Not even close to finishing any of them. It's distressing, considering December's half over. Super focus is needed.

j.

Still Coming Down.

I'm still coming down off November.

Our kickoff party was Saturday night. I had a great time. Drank two glasses of Chardonnay (one glass and a half more than I usually drink) and got very merry. A group of us went for french fries and chicken nuggets at mcdonalds afterwards.

NYC Nanos are a fun, fun bunch. It is good when so many of us are in one room.

And there was some surprise relationship action going on. I'm not mentioning any names.

I'm enjoying not having to make word count for the day. I'm at work today and tomorrow, but then another crazy month begins - I am determined to get all the recording work for my EP and album done this month, finish the artwork, and have everything off for mastering and duplication by the end of the month.

It's not over with the novel, though.

I need to rework the outline a little fill some plot holes, and figure some things out tone-wise. I really am going to try to make these ideas publish-worthy without getting sued by Neil Gaiman. I'm joining the spinoff writer's group, and have contemplating trying to get the first couple of chapters in shape to be critiqued. Hm.

I'd like to start revisions late January, early February, although I also have to get things going with album promotion and scheduling shows. There's a limit to how many things I can do at one time - I'm still deciding what to prioritize where.

Nun-O-Wri-Mo is in February, though. I definitely got to get in on that action.

I just finished reading Graham Greene's The End of The Affair. Heartbreaking book. Didn't really fully grok the point until the last two pages.

Good LitFic can do that to you.

jules

The Final Reckoning.

214,677.

I probably took overall high score, but Chicago's still got another forty minutes, those lucky Morganformens.

There's more I want to say, but I'll say it late. I'm starving, and FISH AND CHIPS and a DEEP FRIED SNICKERS BAR await.

jules