The Bloom From The Rose.

Howdy.

God, I feel like it's been *ages* since I checked in.

I have been riding a turbulent wave ever since New Year's. The bloom seemed to fall off of many of the projects that I'm involved in right now. And I am *swimming* in projects. There's so much to do that I can't focus properly on any one thing. And when I try, some other thing I'm doing nags from the backgroud. And then when I do manage to slow down my attention span, I get frustrated because things don't turn out like I want them to.

*sigh*

There's nothing wrong, really. It's just that reality is descending. People aren't perfect. No one is here to do my bidding. Not even me.

It's taking *forever* to finish the burgundy scarf that I'm knitting. I need to get another skein of yarn; the scarf is nowhere near as long as I want it to be. One more skein will do it. I caught up with a friend who said she knitted scarfs for four friends as Christmas presents, and they took her two days each to do. Why does it feel like my simple burgundy scarf is taking *years*?

Still haven't officially started rewriting my novel. I went on a buying frenzy and bought a ton of "Writer's Digest" type books to try to fill the holes in my (lack of) technique. Polished off Lord of the Flies in a few days, am revising my list of books to include a few more gems I've heard of. I am *devouring* Writing the Breakout Novel, by Donald Maass. *Loads* of good stuff here forcing me to push the boundaries on my characters and make my story matter more.

Got an idea for a short story today.

It's just after seven. Work is *dead*. Tonight I have to go sing backing vocals at the Mercury Lounge at 10pm.

I am not a backup singer. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I do this gig because of the novelty of it, and because I get to play "backup girl" along with a friend of mine. We do minor girl group choreography on stage. It's fun music, rootsy rock, and we have a good time. It's good to be involved in a musical situation without the stress and pressure of it being my own gig.

I'm in the studio the rest of the week. This week we finish all the bed tracks and start adding drums to my songs. Maybe this "making an album" thing will feel more real to me once someone else starts playing.

Hm.

jules