Matt Pierce sounds like Stephen Stills.
At least, I got that feeling and told him so. And I wondered, "Is that right, is Stephen Stills the person I'm thinking of?"
So I went to YouTube, and started listening to Stephen Stills. Yes, Stephen Stills is the person I was thinking of. And Yes, Matt Pierce indeed does recall Stephen Stills for me in a few of his songs. Of course, I started clicking through. To Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. And Crosby, Stills, and Nash.
Jeez, are they good.
But I could hardly make it through a video.
"You...who are on the road...must have a code...that you can live by..."
Tears. Click.
"When you were young and on your own...How did it feel to be alone..."
Tears. Click.
They did a jaw-dropping cover of The Beatles' Blackbird. The harmonies therein are mighty. Didn't make it through that either.
The tears are not a problem, except I'm at work. In an open-plan office. Thank god, it's dark and almost empty.
When I was a freshman in high school, I was on a camping trip, in a parked van with some classmates. Atlantic Starr's "My First Love" came on the radio, and a guy nearly fell over himself (and a few other people) escaping the van. Later, I asked him why. He said that song reminded him of an old girlfriend and he couldn't listen to it anymore. At the time, I thought this curious, even a bit silly. "It's just a song," I thought.
I get it now. I *so* get it now. Music is wrecking me these days in ways that it never has, ever. The songs aren't even ones to which I've had previous emotional connections (e.g., my Elton John episode the other day). It's happening in the weirdest places, and at the most inconvenient times. Wherever I am, I'm just a step or two away from re-experiencing a wound. Or maybe, experiencing a wound for the first time.
I feel like this sometimes:
That the world must be softening me for something.
Something good, I hope.
(Or, at least, something interesting.)
(I did make it through the CS&N Woodstock performance of Judy Blue Eyes here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzF_MoXOU1E
Someone wrote: "no auto tune there my brothers and sisters...." This made me smile.)
Friday, March 04, 2011
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Lines for Winter.
From Jonathan Carroll's blog:
Lines for Winter
Tell yourself
as it gets cold and gray falls from the air
that you will go on
walking, hearing
the same tune no matter where
you find yourself—
inside the dome of dark
or under the cracking white
of the moon’s gaze in a valley of snow.
Tonight as it gets cold
tell yourself
what you know, which is nothing
but the tune your bones play
as you keep going. And you will be able
for once to lie down under the small fire
of winter stars.
And if it happens that you cannot
go on or turn back
and you find yourself
where you will be at the end,
tell yourself
in that final flowing of cold through your limbs
that you love what you are."
-Mark Strand
Lines for Winter
Tell yourself
as it gets cold and gray falls from the air
that you will go on
walking, hearing
the same tune no matter where
you find yourself—
inside the dome of dark
or under the cracking white
of the moon’s gaze in a valley of snow.
Tonight as it gets cold
tell yourself
what you know, which is nothing
but the tune your bones play
as you keep going. And you will be able
for once to lie down under the small fire
of winter stars.
And if it happens that you cannot
go on or turn back
and you find yourself
where you will be at the end,
tell yourself
in that final flowing of cold through your limbs
that you love what you are."
-Mark Strand
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
FAWM 2011 Recap.
It’s nearly 5pm on March 1st and I’m wiped out. But I feel like saying some stuff about FAWM, before I forget it.
I am grateful to FAWM this year for being a welcome distraction from the emotional stresses I was under at the beginning of the month. Even though I do write and play in the “off season,” it had been a long time since I had done either.
And it was satisfying enough to be writing again in a focused way. But I was feeling quite lonely in my FAWM. And then I called Errol on the radio show. We had a grand ole time talking, and I also got a taste of all the great music I hadn’t had the time/mental space to start checking out. Things turned around for me at that point, when I remembered my place in the community.
Any FAWMlings reading this, this is the best I can tell you: Sure, writing on your own is important, getting to 14 is (kind of, if you want it to be) important, but the heart of FAWM is in these things:
Forum,
Chat Room,
Radio Show,
Skirmishes,
Commenting on other people’s songs.
Acknowledge yourself, a sparkling droplet of water in an ocean of musical brilliance. Dive into the community and it WILL hold you up.
I ended up with 16 songs, the highest number of songs I’ve achieved since I started FAWMing in 2007. (I think.) Got to do a most excellent collaboration with The Cow Exchange, one of my favorite humans. In an unexpected bit of awesome, a supremely talented, first-rate, large-hearted person donated to give me my rock hand. With me in my current precarious work situation, his generosity was more appreciated than I’ll ever be able to tell him in words.
The FAWM shenanigans were fantastic as usual, including the metal take on the whole boy/girl-band explosion from a couple of years ago. There was also a country song about a guy coming on to a dentist, a burst of lyrical cleverness. Fun. And: Sleepient Napwork wins the whole Internet. (A brilliant collective effort; FawmToronto is not messing around.)
So how did I do on my personal goals?
Shall I take them one by one?:
*********Overall, I’m looking to simplify. Musically, lyrically, process-wise, all of it.
Did I manage to do this? Heck, I don’t know.
The time from turning-on-the-computer to recording-the-song seems to have been minimized. There weren’t many technical issues once I got everything up and running, but I also know for a fact that I’m not using my equipment as fully as I could…And, my live guitar sounds feel muddier this year. Grr. Need to figure that out. (someone told me I have noisy preamps…) Could also learn a little more about EQing. In the past it was customary for me to boost low end on EVERYTHING, because that makes the sound louder in my headphones. But, I’m thinking it also makes the signal muddier, so I stopped doing that about a week ago.
*********I’d like to record at least two songs that feature piano. The piano freaks me out. Would like to get over that a bit.
This did not happen.
I did write a song on piano that didn’t end up making it (see below).
And I did end up adding piano to one of the songs.
Need to work on this goal.
*********Participate in at least two skirmishes, and do what I need to do in the allotted time. The shortest amount of time I’ve been able to manage thus far is two hours.
I am becoming a big believer in skirmishes. I never thought this would happen.
Skirmishes make me physically queasy. I’m in a high state of insecurity/anxiety for the whole hour, and this has a weird physical effect on me. But skirmishes do something beautiful by removing the time I usually spend hemming and hawing over songs. There’s no time to question my decisions.
I stayed away from them for most of the month. Saw the titles chosen and thought “I’d never be able to do anything with that…” But I threw myself into the breach in the last couple of days and did end up participating in two. I did, pretty much, stay within the hour time allotment. That feels huge. And you know what? I don’t hate the songs!
*********I’d also like to write a I - V - vi – IV song, just ‘cause.
I’ll tell you a secret: I did this. Gave myself the goal of writing the easiest, cheesiest thing I could think of, using the Four Chords to Rule the World (that’s Jodes’ terminology). And, I wrote a song. On piano, even. It was SO cheesy that there was no way I could inflict that song upon my FAWM compatriots in good conscience.
*********And for extra credit, I’d like to demo the three songs from last year that I finished writing, but did not post recordings for.
No dice. Couldn’t even get near it.
And that’s a lesson for me: From here on out, all FAWM songs will be recorded during FAWM. There’s very little chance I’ll get back to it later.
Key Takeaway 1: Leave Room For The Unexpected And The Unknown.
I’m a listmaker, a planner in the extreme. I’d made several lists of the exact FAWM songs I wanted to achieve for the month. About a week in, I realized that that kind of micromanagement is not going to do for February anymore. Case in point: my final FAWM song, “Folly.”
When the Week 4 “Through-Composed” challenge was issued, I was interested right away. Had an entirely different (complete, old) lyric slated, and a different, ready made musical bed. But I felt a little dead inside, just carrying out (my own) orders. I wanted to feel a little more inspired. Threw the old ideas away on the morning of the last day, and started from scratch, keeping the challenge goal in mind.
“Folly” was born entirely in the last 20 or so hours of FAWM. Nearly blew a fuse shuffling lyric lines around, figuring out different guitar bits. Harmonically, this song is more varied than anything I usually do under my own steam. I think it contains my highest recorded vocal notes. (I mostly sing in my head while I’m writing, so when I went to sing “Folly” into a mic, I realized the part was WAY too high for me to deliver comfortably. So I delivered it uncomfortably.) Mentally, I did more work on that last day than any day I can remember. And I like the way it turned out.
Creating something from nothing (no thing) is important. And necessary. It reminds me that 1, I can do that, and 2, Occasionally, good things result.
Key Takeaway 2: The Lyrics Are Always Worth One More Look.
Normally, I put a lot of stock in my words. Earlier in the month I wrote that FAWM songs generally feel throwaway to me. Because of how quickly one has to work, I’ve been okay with putting down first-off lyric ideas. But I figured out this month that there’s always lyric sweetening that can be done. And the sweetening makes the songs feel less disposable.
So I got things still to work on: Playing piano. Getting better sounds. I also need new guitar chords – I fall back too much on E minor. It would be great to collect some new instruments (including a ukulele, apparently).
Don’t want to dwell on that stuff, though. There's a higher proportion of songs I wrote in February that I'm getting enjoyment out of listening to, even now. That's unusual.
It was a great FAWM, yes indeed. I’ll be on the site listening daily, at least through March.
Right now I want a nap.
I am grateful to FAWM this year for being a welcome distraction from the emotional stresses I was under at the beginning of the month. Even though I do write and play in the “off season,” it had been a long time since I had done either.
And it was satisfying enough to be writing again in a focused way. But I was feeling quite lonely in my FAWM. And then I called Errol on the radio show. We had a grand ole time talking, and I also got a taste of all the great music I hadn’t had the time/mental space to start checking out. Things turned around for me at that point, when I remembered my place in the community.
Any FAWMlings reading this, this is the best I can tell you: Sure, writing on your own is important, getting to 14 is (kind of, if you want it to be) important, but the heart of FAWM is in these things:
Forum,
Chat Room,
Radio Show,
Skirmishes,
Commenting on other people’s songs.
Acknowledge yourself, a sparkling droplet of water in an ocean of musical brilliance. Dive into the community and it WILL hold you up.
I ended up with 16 songs, the highest number of songs I’ve achieved since I started FAWMing in 2007. (I think.) Got to do a most excellent collaboration with The Cow Exchange, one of my favorite humans. In an unexpected bit of awesome, a supremely talented, first-rate, large-hearted person donated to give me my rock hand. With me in my current precarious work situation, his generosity was more appreciated than I’ll ever be able to tell him in words.
The FAWM shenanigans were fantastic as usual, including the metal take on the whole boy/girl-band explosion from a couple of years ago. There was also a country song about a guy coming on to a dentist, a burst of lyrical cleverness. Fun. And: Sleepient Napwork wins the whole Internet. (A brilliant collective effort; FawmToronto is not messing around.)
So how did I do on my personal goals?
Shall I take them one by one?:
*********Overall, I’m looking to simplify. Musically, lyrically, process-wise, all of it.
Did I manage to do this? Heck, I don’t know.
The time from turning-on-the-computer to recording-the-song seems to have been minimized. There weren’t many technical issues once I got everything up and running, but I also know for a fact that I’m not using my equipment as fully as I could…And, my live guitar sounds feel muddier this year. Grr. Need to figure that out. (someone told me I have noisy preamps…) Could also learn a little more about EQing. In the past it was customary for me to boost low end on EVERYTHING, because that makes the sound louder in my headphones. But, I’m thinking it also makes the signal muddier, so I stopped doing that about a week ago.
*********I’d like to record at least two songs that feature piano. The piano freaks me out. Would like to get over that a bit.
This did not happen.
I did write a song on piano that didn’t end up making it (see below).
And I did end up adding piano to one of the songs.
Need to work on this goal.
*********Participate in at least two skirmishes, and do what I need to do in the allotted time. The shortest amount of time I’ve been able to manage thus far is two hours.
I am becoming a big believer in skirmishes. I never thought this would happen.
Skirmishes make me physically queasy. I’m in a high state of insecurity/anxiety for the whole hour, and this has a weird physical effect on me. But skirmishes do something beautiful by removing the time I usually spend hemming and hawing over songs. There’s no time to question my decisions.
I stayed away from them for most of the month. Saw the titles chosen and thought “I’d never be able to do anything with that…” But I threw myself into the breach in the last couple of days and did end up participating in two. I did, pretty much, stay within the hour time allotment. That feels huge. And you know what? I don’t hate the songs!
*********I’d also like to write a I - V - vi – IV song, just ‘cause.
I’ll tell you a secret: I did this. Gave myself the goal of writing the easiest, cheesiest thing I could think of, using the Four Chords to Rule the World (that’s Jodes’ terminology). And, I wrote a song. On piano, even. It was SO cheesy that there was no way I could inflict that song upon my FAWM compatriots in good conscience.
*********And for extra credit, I’d like to demo the three songs from last year that I finished writing, but did not post recordings for.
No dice. Couldn’t even get near it.
And that’s a lesson for me: From here on out, all FAWM songs will be recorded during FAWM. There’s very little chance I’ll get back to it later.
Key Takeaway 1: Leave Room For The Unexpected And The Unknown.
I’m a listmaker, a planner in the extreme. I’d made several lists of the exact FAWM songs I wanted to achieve for the month. About a week in, I realized that that kind of micromanagement is not going to do for February anymore. Case in point: my final FAWM song, “Folly.”
When the Week 4 “Through-Composed” challenge was issued, I was interested right away. Had an entirely different (complete, old) lyric slated, and a different, ready made musical bed. But I felt a little dead inside, just carrying out (my own) orders. I wanted to feel a little more inspired. Threw the old ideas away on the morning of the last day, and started from scratch, keeping the challenge goal in mind.
“Folly” was born entirely in the last 20 or so hours of FAWM. Nearly blew a fuse shuffling lyric lines around, figuring out different guitar bits. Harmonically, this song is more varied than anything I usually do under my own steam. I think it contains my highest recorded vocal notes. (I mostly sing in my head while I’m writing, so when I went to sing “Folly” into a mic, I realized the part was WAY too high for me to deliver comfortably. So I delivered it uncomfortably.) Mentally, I did more work on that last day than any day I can remember. And I like the way it turned out.
Creating something from nothing (no thing) is important. And necessary. It reminds me that 1, I can do that, and 2, Occasionally, good things result.
Key Takeaway 2: The Lyrics Are Always Worth One More Look.
Normally, I put a lot of stock in my words. Earlier in the month I wrote that FAWM songs generally feel throwaway to me. Because of how quickly one has to work, I’ve been okay with putting down first-off lyric ideas. But I figured out this month that there’s always lyric sweetening that can be done. And the sweetening makes the songs feel less disposable.
So I got things still to work on: Playing piano. Getting better sounds. I also need new guitar chords – I fall back too much on E minor. It would be great to collect some new instruments (including a ukulele, apparently).
Don’t want to dwell on that stuff, though. There's a higher proportion of songs I wrote in February that I'm getting enjoyment out of listening to, even now. That's unusual.
It was a great FAWM, yes indeed. I’ll be on the site listening daily, at least through March.
Right now I want a nap.
Monday, February 28, 2011
FAWM. Day 28. Still One More.
Have been working on a song all day.
Still not finished.
Am exhausted.
Skirmish in 7 min.
Hopefully that will do it, can finish the other thing later.
Am waking up from a nap, having trouble putting subjects in my sentences.
Hopefully my next note will be that I'm done...
Still not finished.
Am exhausted.
Skirmish in 7 min.
Hopefully that will do it, can finish the other thing later.
Am waking up from a nap, having trouble putting subjects in my sentences.
Hopefully my next note will be that I'm done...
Sunday, February 27, 2011
FAWM. Day 27. Three More.
I'm at 11. Three more.
I'm hungry, but I just ate.
I think my body is balking at the effort that this evening will require.
I have been in worse positions, though.
Perhaps more caffeine is required.
Spent some quality time in the chat room this afternoon. I should have done more of that this month.
Okay, enough stalling. Off I go.
I'm hungry, but I just ate.
I think my body is balking at the effort that this evening will require.
I have been in worse positions, though.
Perhaps more caffeine is required.
Spent some quality time in the chat room this afternoon. I should have done more of that this month.
Okay, enough stalling. Off I go.
FAWM. Day 27. SO MUCH to do today.
It's just gone 10am here.
Just made myself a healthy breakfast. SO much to do today.
Five songs left. TWO collabs in the works.
I'll check in later. Want to achieve a few things before the songskirmish. It was my goal to do two, I suppose I should get at least one in. I haven't traditionally been good at doing things in a short amount of time.
Bringing it on home.
Just made myself a healthy breakfast. SO much to do today.
Five songs left. TWO collabs in the works.
I'll check in later. Want to achieve a few things before the songskirmish. It was my goal to do two, I suppose I should get at least one in. I haven't traditionally been good at doing things in a short amount of time.
Bringing it on home.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
FAWM. Day 26. Technical Difficulties.
Last night I was beset by technical difficulties that prevented me from finishing the song I was working on.
A friend tried to help me out. My poor friend. I send him tracks and am constantly exposing the "not rightness" of my recording methods.
(At least I'm using the colors now, friend. I learned from the last time you had to help me.)
Anyway, he pointed out a few things and now things seem to be okay.
No sleep until I'm done with the next four.
A friend tried to help me out. My poor friend. I send him tracks and am constantly exposing the "not rightness" of my recording methods.
(At least I'm using the colors now, friend. I learned from the last time you had to help me.)
Anyway, he pointed out a few things and now things seem to be okay.
No sleep until I'm done with the next four.
Friday, February 25, 2011
FAWM. Day 25. Strong Words. Weak Words.
Today is a day when words are flying in out of nowhere to stab me in the spine. Here are just a few.
From Middlemarch:
From Jonathan Carroll's blog:
(I don't know *where* Jonathan Carroll finds his gems; at least twice a month I find myself sobbing from the beauty of the things he posts.)
These beautiful words make me sad that I'm going to have to say "okay" to some weak lyrics. There are only a few days left to FAWM, and I'm going to have to start finishing, no matter how unhappy I am with the words.
Breathe in, breathe out. Get on with it.
I got rejected today. It's a little twinge, not a big one.
There are still many, many things to be done. Going to practice saying hello to strangers.
From Middlemarch:
"Marriage is so unlike everything else.
There’s something awful in the nearness it brings.
Even if we loved someone else better than
Those we were married to
It would be no use.
I know it may be very dear,
But it murders our marriage.
And then our marriage always stays with us
Like a murder.
And we are weak."
From Jonathan Carroll's blog:
CUTTING LOOSE
Sometimes from sorrow, for no reason,
you sing. For no reason, you accept
the way of being lost, cutting loose from all else and electing a world where you go
where you want to.
Arbitrary, sound comes, a reminder
that a steady center is holding
all else. If you listen, that sound will tell where it is, and you can slide your way past trouble.
Certain twisted monsters
always bar the path—but that’s when you get going best, glad to be lost, learning how real it is
here on the earth, again and again.
~William Stafford
(I don't know *where* Jonathan Carroll finds his gems; at least twice a month I find myself sobbing from the beauty of the things he posts.)
These beautiful words make me sad that I'm going to have to say "okay" to some weak lyrics. There are only a few days left to FAWM, and I'm going to have to start finishing, no matter how unhappy I am with the words.
Breathe in, breathe out. Get on with it.
I got rejected today. It's a little twinge, not a big one.
There are still many, many things to be done. Going to practice saying hello to strangers.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
FAWM. Day 24. Crap.
Argh.
Drat.
Frig.
There's this one song, see. I have two verses that I'm really happy with. But it needs a prechorus/chorusy refrainy bit. Something to tie it all together.
I was most worried about getting the percussion right (this song is closely modeled on another that has SLAMMIN' percussion). After three hours tinkering around with drums, the percussion is just about there.
Now I just need a *song* now to sing over it.
This is so frustrating.
There are still SEVEN to go!!!!
And I might be called in to work tomorrow.
Today it started to bother me that I haven't written a strummy song at all this year. I don't write strummy songs usually, I must admit. I get a little strummy song envy when I hear people's well-executed strummy songs.
Walked around all day with words written on my arm, a particularly insightful piece of criticism posted on the boards that I wanted to have with me at all times. I wrote it in Sharpie over most of my forearm.
Heh heh, work will be interesting tomorrow.
Drat.
Frig.
There's this one song, see. I have two verses that I'm really happy with. But it needs a prechorus/chorusy refrainy bit. Something to tie it all together.
I was most worried about getting the percussion right (this song is closely modeled on another that has SLAMMIN' percussion). After three hours tinkering around with drums, the percussion is just about there.
Now I just need a *song* now to sing over it.
This is so frustrating.
There are still SEVEN to go!!!!
And I might be called in to work tomorrow.
Today it started to bother me that I haven't written a strummy song at all this year. I don't write strummy songs usually, I must admit. I get a little strummy song envy when I hear people's well-executed strummy songs.
Walked around all day with words written on my arm, a particularly insightful piece of criticism posted on the boards that I wanted to have with me at all times. I wrote it in Sharpie over most of my forearm.
Heh heh, work will be interesting tomorrow.
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