Confessions.

It's 12:34 where I am, and I'm suddenly feeling like it's confession time.

I was *very* passive-aggressive in fiction class this week. Truthfully, I was still feeling the sting from my misunderstood red-headed stepchild of a story two weeks ago. There was one guy's story that I was VERY scathing about, albeit in a passive aggressive manner. There was one girl that everyone was complimenting in their reviews, and it really made me uncomfortable.

My teacher even complimented my new hair. I couldn't even look at her.

Fiction class is over next week, and it's sad. Endings make me sad. There are connections I wanted to form and didn't, and it makes me sad.

There are new beginnings to begin, but it's all up to me.

There's a lot of work to be done.

There's *always* a lot of work to be done.

*sigh*

I wish work was parmesan-reggiano cheese. The kind they sell in chunky wedges at the Whole Foods. I bought a wedge of this cheese once, sliced off a little sliver, and ate it. It was tasty. Nutty. I sliced another. And, at some point, I started to bite off the wedge, chewing on chunks of cheese. And more, and more. I would take huge, large mouthfuls of parmesan-reggiano, and as soon as the taste was gone from my mouth, I wanted more.

And at some point, the wedge was gone. I was shocked and felt that it had disappeared magically, only a gnawed rind left. If my teethprints weren't in it, I would have looked around for the guilty party.

I wish work was like that, effortlessly delicious. I wish I could devour all the work I have to do without even noticing. I always feel like I'm staring at the mountain of work in front of me. The more I do, the more work I realize I have to do. It's daunting and makes me ill.

But, there's nothing else I have to do on earth, but my work.

So let's get on with it, then.

I'm sorry, guy, for snarking at your story. I'm sorry, class, for being pissy and withdrawn. I'll probably be pissy and withdrawn next week too, and then I'll never see any of you again.

In a bid to grasp at something positive: I now own my piano! Made my last payment on it two weeks ago, and now it's all mine. Lovely.

I should go play it?

j.