FAWM. Day 8.

Sorry I've been away from you so long. But, I have good news to report.

Finally got to FAWMing today. A trip out to Long Island didn't happen, so I had time, and it was in the back of my mind that I should finally finish and post some songs. I stared down my computer, frowning and screaming at it like a spoiled kid. And then I finally opened the software and got to work.

A couple of minor technical problems and 24 hours later, I have two songs posted. Can't say I'm ecstatic about either of them, but they are a good two days' work.

The same minds that brought you Strangle Disco last year are now bringing you...CasioCore. I found a Casio PK-1 hiding in a box, and so will darn well be participating.

Right now I have a headache. I haven't eaten all day, and feel perfectly justified in ordering some bad food and wolfing it down.

Cheers!

jul

FAWM. Day 5.

I missed posting yesterday, my anal-retentive side is *very* upset.

I finished a song. Can play it, even. It's just not that interesting.

Have been checking in daily with Jodes and that is good. Makes me feel slightly less rudderless.

A few FAWMers are sending me music, I'm crossing my fingers there's something my slack-self can do with the tunes.

Came in to work 2 and a half hours earlier than normal. Wanted to avoid the mess and the crowd of the parade for the Giants. Which meant that I had to be awake and out the door at some ungodly hour. I can hardly keep my eyes open at the moment, but in about fifteen minutes I get to leave here and go home and stare at my instruments. Got an idea of how to rearrange myself space to make it a little more user-friendly.

My buddy Burt posted a song yesterday that made my jaw drop. It's really good. He used a mandocello. And now I want one, whatever that is.

I'm a sleepy, head bobbing mess right now. You know what I need?

Caffeine and sugar.

j.

FAWM. Day 3.

Here's a quick note before leaving work:

I got a little tug on my songline today.

I'm going home tonight and seeing where it leads.....

j

FAWM. Day 2.

Gah!

I'm stuck at work, and I'm stuck on a lyric at the same time. Not a happy camper, me.

Had a nice dinner in town with a few friends last night, and then came home and worked on a bit from about 1am to 4am. Could be interesting, but so far it's not. The lack of words (usually my strong point) is really bumming me out.

Songs never come when I try to force. I can make something fit over a melody line, but I don't ever feel good when I force it. I'm trying to make this lyric "make sense" and I don't work like that, usually. A part of me that I can't control at all speaks in metaphor. And right now, that part is *silent*.

*sigh*

And I'm at work. And it's dreary outside.

Going to go
try to find
something productive
to do with myself,

jules

FAWM. Day 1.

Hm

Haven't written a note today. I'm not really feeling inspired.

Could be because today I had retinal laser surgery. It is the most intense thing that has happened to me in recent memory - the insistent blur of the dilation, the blinding laser and bizarre pain. I just want to keep myself in a dark, locked room.

But I only get a few minutes before i have to leave and meet some friends for dinner this evening. Then I will come home and set up all my guitars and basses in stands, like a little army, and see if I can be inspired to pluck at one of them. I'm going to turn on my computer, just to make sure I know how to do it.

People have posted songs - good ones - already.

Hm.

j.

FAWM jitters.

Oo. I'm feeling them.

February Album Writing Month starts tomorrow, and I can't remember anything I've ever wanted to write in my whole life. My pen is still. *sigh*

I got an idea from the board, to take pics of all the new gear (and there is a lot of it) and post them. Hm. I'll take care of that tonight, maybe it will stop my stomach from lurching. Ack.

Yesterday I had coffee with a musician I've spent the last decade idolizing. She is a wonderful person and it was so comforting to hear her words of wisdom about the business and about the hard reality of making records. I feel that hope fluttering again, the hope that the life I want is possible. This hope has ground me down into the concrete more than a few times, but it doesn't ever seem to die....

Tonight I meet up with the writers group to critique Cat's piece. I've never done this before, and I'm a bit nervous about that as well. Criticism is such a delicate thing.

survivin' it all,

j.

Today I Had A List.

There was a list of six things to do today and I did them. All.

I have to do that sometimes, to prove to myself that I'm not a total ground sloth, make up a list and do everything on it, TODAY, even at great inconvenience or cost. It's usually when I'm feeling really ineffective and almost unable to get things done. Today, I did stuff.

One of my co-workers bought me a two inch high cake from Chinatown. I just like to squeeze it gently. It's like a tiny bouncy mattress. I will eat it at some point tonight. I love Chinese desserts, they're never too sweet. The tea is awesome. Creamy.

I'm not rejecting bad food so vigorously as I should be lately. Although, I did book my family's hotel room for my brother's wedding in Michigan in June. The prospect of fitting into a particular dress is a good motivator.

Tomorrow I am having lunch with two special friends. I've been cooped up too long inside the house, need to do a little breaking out.

jx

Just a Quick Note.

Just wanted to say hello before I leave work for the evening.

It's depressing, finding out what's really going on in the world....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKr_soG4DUA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjALf12PAWc


sigh,
jules

Spontaneous Outbreak of Happiness.

I'm here at work. Working, yes, but also listening to music.

I listened to a bunch of ABBA this morning, say what you want about their cheesiness. ABBA makes me so, so happy. Giddily happy. Deliriously happy.

Now I'm listening to 100m Backstroke, by Josh Rouse. The first chord comes in and I get all choked up. I had my headphones on, singing so loudly my co-worker had to tell me to shut up.

I suddenly have nothing but love for the world, and I know everything's going to be all right.

Will February get here, already?!?

j.

Hi there.

Oo. Long time.

There's a lot going on.

Finally finishing up the album. I have good versions of all the songs, just need to get the last two mixed, and then the whole thing mastered. And then there's the artwork.

But those are just details. The finish line is just over...there.

I'm drowning in bizarre technology, mailing lists, online stores, trying to figure out how to work it all. Or, at least, make it look good.

February is Album Writing Month (http://www.fawm.org). I'm looking forward to it. Bought a new guitar, new amp, new POD. Been listening to Cat Power's record, You Are Free. Lo-Fi goodness.

The novel is beginning to itch, I don't mind saying. I've come up with a couple of solutions to a few plot holes, thought of a few ways to darken and deepen the tone significantly. Maybe March.

Anyhow, I will be blogging daily during FAWM, so there's more nonsense rambling on the way.